Carnegie Wuhan

Wuhan Carnegie Negotiation Etiquette Training
At each stage of formal negotiation, conversation and other etiquette are very particular and play an extremely important role. Conversation mainly relies on listening, speaking and corresponding actions. We can understand the conversation and other etiquette in negotiations separately.
Listening and Questioning in Negotiation
Since it is a conversation, you should first be good at listening. Neilenberg clearly pointed out that listening is an important means of discovering the needs of the other party. American negotiator Carlos also said that if you want to give the other party a concession that you will not lose at all, it is easy to do. You just need to listen carefully to what he has to say. Listening is the cheapest concession you can make. . And appropriate questions help listening.
In interpersonal communication, people who are good at listening often leave a good impression of being polite, respectful, caring, easy to get along with, and understanding of people. Listening is also a very important foundation and prerequisite for most people to achieve correct expression. Some negotiators often use listening to first establish an image that they are willing to be the other party's friend in order to gain the other party's trust and respect. When the other party regards you as their friend, it lays the foundation for persuasion, persuasion and other purposes.
Etiquette requirements for listening
Listening means that the listener has a positive attitude, listens carefully and attentively to the speaker's statement, observes the speaker's expression and behavior, and provides timely and appropriate information feedback , a behavioral process that responds to the speaker to prompt the speaker to elaborate comprehensively, clearly, and accurately, and to obtain useful information from it. The etiquette of listening requires concentration. Negotiators must stay awake and focused at all times during the meeting. The average person listens and thinks about twice as fast as speaking, so it is very easy to lose focus when listening to others. At the same time, according to relevant research data, normal people can only remember at most If he doesn't pay attention to what he hears on the spot, he will remember even less. From then on, when listening to others, you must concentrate on it and try to eliminate interference from the environment and your own factors.
Pay attention to the way the other person speaks. The other party's wording, expression, tone, and intonation all convey a certain message. If you pay careful attention to it, you can discover the hidden needs behind the other party's words and truly understand all the information conveyed by the other party.
Observe the other person’s expression. Observing words and colors is an auxiliary method to judge the speaker's attitude and intention.
Listening in negotiation situations is the comprehensive effect of four types of hearing, hearing with the ears, hearing with the eyes, hearing with the heart, and hearing with the brain. Listening means not only using your ears to listen, but also using your eyes to observe, using your own heart to put yourself in the other person's words, and using your own brain to study and judge the motives behind the other person's words.
Standard listening is not allowed to listen while imagining in your mind what you should say when it is your turn to speak, thinking about how the speaker should solve your own problems or planning the advice you will give, and thinking about Reminiscent of some of their own similar experiences based on what they heard and planning how or whether to tell the speaker about their experiences, etc. You must concentrate and concentrate on getting the speaker's information, so that divergent thinking will disappear.
Through certain appropriate methods, such as eye gaze, facial expressions of concern and sympathy, nodding in approval, leaning forward and making some sounds to express attention, the speaker is prompted to continue speaking.
Learn to be patient. You cannot avoid listening to words that are difficult to understand, especially when the other party says something that you are unwilling to hear or even angers you. As long as the other party has not indicated that he has finished speaking, you should continue to listen and do not interrupt his speech, or even leave the table or fight back. , to avoid taking the bait or being rude. For questions that cannot be answered immediately, you should try to understand the intention, do not express it in a hurry, and seek other solutions.
Etiquette requirements for asking questions
Questions are of great significance for understanding the other party, obtaining information, and promoting communication. A person who has mastered the etiquette requirements of asking questions and is good at asking questions can not only control the process of the conversation and control the direction of the negotiation, but also open the other party's heart and tug at the other party's heartstrings.
The etiquette requirements for asking questions are mainly to
seize the timing of asking questions.
The timing of asking questions includes the following requirements. First, do not ask questions when the other party is explaining the problem. Interrupting is a sign of disrespect for the other party. Second, in non-debate situations, you should speak objectively, unbiased, and without any bias. Restricted, declarative language questions that do not imply or express any position. Some leaders said at the beginning of the meeting that our position on this issue was: What are your opinions? Basically, no changes will be made to this plan. Do you have any suggestions? This kind of premature and restrictive questions often gives people a false feeling. People will think that since the leader has already decided, what is the point of expressing their own position? Third, in debate situations, you should first use probing questions to confirm the other party's position. Intention, and then ask direct questions, otherwise the question is likely to be inappropriate or rejected by the other party. For example, the negotiator can say, "I don't know if I fully understand what you mean." I heard you say that is what you meant? If the other party affirms or denies it, the negotiator can say that if this is the case, why don't you agree to this condition? etc. Fourth, relevant important questions should be prepared in advance (including the conditions for the questions, wording, who will ask the questions, etc.) and imagine several answers from the other party, and design your own countermeasures for these answers. Fifth, questions about new topics should not be placed before the other party. When you raise a certain issue when the conversation is in full swing, you should induce it to gradually change.
Ask the question according to the person.
The question should be consistent with the other person’s age, occupation, social role, personality, temperament, education level, and professionalism. The depth of knowledge, breadth of knowledge, and life experience are appropriate. The characteristics of the subject determine whether our questions should be straightforward, concise, implicit, tactful, serious, witty, humorous, thoughtful, casual, etc.
Clear the occasion of asking questions.< br/>Whether it is an open negotiation or a secret negotiation, whether it is a negotiation between individuals or an inter-organizational negotiation, whether it is a negotiation on the table inside the venue or a private negotiation outside the venue, whether it is a question or a speech, etc., all require the questioner to pay attention to the impact of the environment.
Pay attention to questioning skills.
① Organize sentences carefully. In order to gain a favorable negotiating position or appear respectful and polite, negotiators change the word order and structure of the negotiation language, causing the listener to have semantic judgments. Illusion, and actively respond to it. For example, a typical example cited in many foreign negotiation theory writings is that a priest asked the bishop if I could smoke while praying? The bishop felt that the priest was extremely disrespectful to God. , flatly rejected his request. And another priest also asked the bishop if I could pray while smoking. The bishop felt that he never forgot God and even thought about praying while smoking. This showed his sincerity, so he readily agreed. The latter priest's request was approved precisely because he carefully organized his sentences and played a game of predicates and predicated adverbial intonations.
Psychological research shows that it is difficult for people to accept those who have negative feelings about themselves. Behaviors or things that are offensive, violate social rules, or violate ethics. If people feel that the way and intentions of others speaking to them are kind, gentle, and respectful, they are willing to accept it. Then a priest took advantage of Word order changes change the semantic meaning without changing the true purpose, causing the listener to have an illusion, forming a positive response in attitude, and reducing adverse reactions such as confrontation, alertness, hostility, etc. This technique can be used not only in questions, but also in statements, It can be used in speech, persuasion and other languages.
② Ask questions concisely and concisely. Questions that are too long and too many will hinder the other party's acceptance and thinking of information. When there are many questions, ask at most one or two at a time. Questions should be clarified or the other party indicates that they have answered before continuing. This rhythm is polite.
③ Be tactful when asking sensitive questions. Due to the needs of negotiation, sometimes it is necessary to ask the other party some sensitive and in-depth questions. For questions that are usually taboo in public, it is best to briefly explain the reasons before asking. This is a technique for people to avoid causing embarrassment. If some women are very sensitive to age, they can say that in order to fill in this form, they can ask you What is your age?
④ After asking the question, allow the other party time to think before answering, and do not disturb the other party’s thoughts at will.
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Wuhan Carnegie Education
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